Forever Faithful...

6 months... you know it wasn't easy to truly let go of everything that you've done to me and brought into my life... I was so alone in the darkest realm of my broken heart and trapped with never ending physical and emotional torture... lost... confused... and exhausted... Tears rained down to fill miles and miles of grieving rivers... where 'regret' and 'sorry' are their names... Unseen blades of guiltiness cut deep into my flesh and blood... peeling away my protective layer of dignity... leaving behind a touched... tainted... shameful... body and soul with crimson proof of unholiness... I've called for you... to help me... to pull me out... and to lend me a hand... but you never answer... you never look back... you never care... you just left me there to die... so you won't have to be responsible for anything and walk away as if nothing happened ... yet you'll still be able to continue on your 'happily ever after' committed devotion to your so-called wife...

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Time flies... and I came to understand whatever complications that I never did...

I managed to struggle through those crucial moments... freeing myself from this frighten prison of abandonment and stay strong to lift my head up high again... awaken myself from this dark slumber and open up my eyes to look at the many wonders around that I once overlooked and being blinded from... Also... I was given the ability to forgive and forget: forgive your mistakes and immaturity... forget your bitter past and immoral trespass... The power of forgiving is divine... for once after a long time... finally I'm able to sincerely smile from the bottom of my heart again... and this glimpse of awakening is priceless...

Time heals all kinds of wounds I guess...

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After going through such a rocky hardship... my heart will never be able to accept a new start... as it only reserve it's space for you... and only you... This will be my last apologies to you... "I am sorry... but I will be forever faithful to you... my one and only love..."

(Untitled)

All this while... I have been dreaming of having the most perfect blog of my own...

A blog so perfect that it includes posts with well described life experiences, fun-filled adventures, personal thoughts, and... etc.

However, it seems because of this very reason... I haven't been able to publish any completed posts...

From my first & last post since October... I had been having too many things in my mind that I want to share with this world... uncountable events and thoughts which happened to me in my life and built up in my cerebral cortex that I wanted to tell... but because of my so-called 'dream' (and really a stubborn one indeed) to create a systematically organized and professionally written posts with relevant pictures and photos to enhance its literacy... this obsession had 'murdered' my inner imaginations for thinking and free-will expressions of feelings...

Now only I realized that I wasn't doing it right as in to write to truly express and share... but instead... I was writing it as a errand to actively please and entertain...

How foolish...

Therefore... from now on... I wish to write FREELY...